kristin has been a bad kristin
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
