i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
