she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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