I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
