How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
