the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
