We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
