Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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