the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
