My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
