Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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