he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
did you just send me my own nude
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
