So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
