it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
