he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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