Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
