two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
