Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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