it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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