She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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