My friends, they love my intelligence
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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