I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
