a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
