Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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