ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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