mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
