I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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