Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
