Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
