we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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