Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
barbara walters just said penis...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
3pm strippers are depressing
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
