ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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