at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
