Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
