Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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