Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
