He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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