cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
