Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
