I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
