I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
