I don't think brook has ever known best
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
