so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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