I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
