How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
