too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
