had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
