If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
