ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
