I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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